Making lists, taking breaks

This past week has been the most stressful week so far at school and now that it's over, all I can do is let out a huge sigh of relief and relax.

For now.

It was the busiest week that I have had by far in my time at Point Park. I thought to myself a number of times, "how am I going to do this," and, "I just need to make it to Thursday night." This is an abbreviated list.

A term paper on social stratification and a project outline on Big Brother and privacy in America for sociology due Thursday.
An English research paper on fast food due Wednesday.
A mass comm test Thursday on 50 pages of the book. A multiple choice test where all of answers are correct, but you have to choose the answer which is most correct. It's all a game for this prof.
Research comparing Pitt to PPU for U Life on Wednesday.
A final draft of my official business card due Wednesday night.
A regional sports script for Pioneer Sideline for Tuesday morning.
A national sports script for Daybreak for Wednesday night.
An audition to host Daybreak next semester Thursday evening.

After I got under my covers Thursday night knowing that I could sleep in on Friday and not wake up to a mountain of homework and stress was the best feeling ever. I got the best night of sleep in weeks last night and I'm exhausted.

Going into the week, I knew that I had a lot on my plate. I love making lists. Partially because it's an easy way of seeing everything that I have to accomplish, and mostly because the satisfaction of crossing items off of my to-do list is such a great feeling.

I have a dry-erase calendar board hanging up in my room. I covered the entire Notes section on the left side of the calendar with a list. It broke down into three categories: Before break, during break and after break.

Above was my before break list. It is the smallest list of the three.

When I got to Tuesday night and looked at my list that barely had a dent in it, I was overwhelmed. I had to get so much done on Wednesday alone and I didn't know how I was going to do it. My solution was to simply make another list.

I mapped out my entire day hour by hour. I didn't stop. After I was let out of English class at 2:15, I went straight back to my room to continue my list that I had been chopping away at on and off throughout the day. Mind you, Mondays and Wednesdays are my busiest days of classes.

The next thing I knew, it was 6:00 and I was making progress. I couldn't stop. I had to turn down a couple of my friends' requests to go eat and explore, but they understood.

I outlined the rest of my evening on a timeline with deadlines of the various tasks to complete. It seemed possible this way. Just thinking of everything that I had to do was overwhelming, but looking at the outline made it all seem possible.

Only taking one break at 7:30 to grab food at the Cafe to bring back and eat while I continued to work, I finished everything at 12:45. It was a marathon. 10 1/2 hours of almost non-stop work that seemed impossible.

My music playlist went from Michael Bublé, to the newly released Lifehouse song "Flight" on repeat for an hour, to About A Mile, to Christmas music, to Pentatonix, to Sibelius back to Lifehouse, back to Bublé and so much more. That was interesting.

I learned that no list is too much and nothing is impossible. I can take a break for today before going home as a part of my 10 day Thanksgiving break. I want to go home. I'm ready.

But, as I said, this was the shortest of the three lists.

Sunday I will officially announce the opportunity that I have been anticipating and writing about for the past two months. I was voluntold (yes you read that right) that I will address the congregation at North Street Christian Church Sunday, November 30 to make this announcement. I will wait to put it in writing until the days leading up to it. I don't have that date in mind yet.

My list at home includes another research paper, another sociology paper and project, a mass comm final project and paper and book report. That's the easy part of the list.

It's a lot, but after what I went through this week, I know that nothing is impossible.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving with so much anticipation and excitement.
1. I get to see my entire family. I can't wait for that.
2. REAL. NON-DINING HALL. FOOD.

My "break" will conclude on Sunday, November 30. That day just has a little significance in my life, considering it's the 19th anniversary of my birth. I'm planning on spending the morning and afternoon with my family and friends in Butler and the evening with my friends here. Every birthday that I've celebrated with friends here has been amazing and some of the most memorable times that I've had here and I can only imagine what my birthday will be like, considering it will also be the day that all of us are reunited after brea.

For now, I can relax. I'm already packed and ready to go home. I'm ready for a break, no matter how abbreviated or how relaxing that break actually is.

Butler, we will soon meet again.

Because, why not?
Josh

HELP

My alma mater Butler High School needs your help! Last year, I directed, produced, shot and edited the first ever lip dub video at Butler. We entered into the Pittsburgh Trib Total Media Lip Dub contest and didn't win. We lost to Seneca Valley High School. Seneca.

This year, my friends at BTTV continue this great tradition with an AMAZING video. Once administration and staff saw what this project COULD have been after my video last year, everyone was all in for this year's video. 

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

To vote, all you have to do is register with the Trib's voting website. It's so simple. 

And you can vote 10 times per day.
It takes 5 minutes the first time with registration, and 2 minutes every other day. 

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

CLICK HERE TO VOTE

Click one of the SIX links to vote!!! It's simple and greatly appreciated. 

Because, why not?

Josh

No Doubt About It

After spending almost two hours in temperatures below freezing, I have no doubt about it.

After pulling every string possible and talking to every right person, I have no doubt about it. 

After spending countless hours working and many less sleeping, I have no doubt about it. 

I have no doubt about it. 

"It," referring to my passion, my career, my future. 

It's not far away and it's approaching much faster than I could have ever anticipated, and I can't wait. I don't know where I'll end up or what I'll be doing, but I have no doubt in my mind that I'm doing the right thing. 

There are people here who have told me that they wanted to do one thing and ended up changing their major. Many college students change their major multiple times before they graduate. 

Not me. Not this major. 

I spent an hour and a half today around PNC Park shooting stand ups and reporting on a number of Pirates related subjects. It was 26-31 degrees and when I got back to campus, I couldn't feel my fingers. It's been almost four hours since and I still can't completely feel my finger tips. All I could think to myself as I watched the footage was Lanny Frattare's famous phrase, "There was no doubt about it," that he would exclaim after each Pirate's win. 

It was fitting, considering I was just at Fratare's former stomping grounds.

I have talked to a number of highly respected journalists and broadcasters in the industry over the past week. A list that includes Dejan Kovacevic who, if you have never read his work, can only be described as phenomenal. 

I'm ecstatic to begin my career, wherever that may be. I'm ready, but then again I'm not.

I'm ready in the sense that I'm ready to get going. I'm not ready in the sense that I still have things to work on. I'm working on improving every day. It's the only way to do it. I can't watch myself on air without being critical. I never could. I could never listen to a piece of music that I performed, watch a show that I conducted, or a broadcast that I anchored without being uber critical of myself.

I still always watch and listen though. I do it so I know what to work on, what to improve. I do it to better myself and learn from mistakes that I didn't think that I made. From certain gestures that I make to certain words and letters that I pronounce. I know what I have to work on and I know that I will improve with time.

The biggest thing in my way are classes that seem irrelevant to me that are taking up a portion of my time that I'm completing busy work for. I feel like there is so much to do but very little time to do it in and that's the overwhelming part. I'm managing.

Thanksgiving break begins next weekend and I am having mixed emotions about it. I'm looking forward to going home and seeing my family more than anything. I worry that my time spent at home will be spent more on work that I don't have time to complete here, and less on relaxing and enjoying a break. A career in sports is accompanied by very few off days. Especially in baseball. I'm prepared for that, as dreadful as it may be on some days.

I have a long laundry list of things to do and papers to write. Yes, doing laundry is on that list. No I haven't turned my medium T-Shirts into youth smalls yet, and yes my white T-Shirts are still white.

I have always been told that if I love my job, I will never work a day in my life. If I had the opportunity to be blessed with employment in professional sports, as are my full intentions, I would never work even a second in my lifetime. The beauty of sports is that no matter what happens today, there is always tomorrow. 

Man, am I excited. Man, am I ready. And there is no doubt about it. 

Because, why not?

Josh

A month without words

Due to my insane schedule as of late, I have not been able to blog on a consistent basis. This is a photo essay describing my October/first week of November. If one picture is worth a thousand words, then here are 20,000 describing my month, in no particular order.

And as always, the Links To My Work page is updated frequently. Good night and good luck.

Because, why not?

Josh

Support, support, support.

Support.

It's huge in life, and it's huge in college. Early on, the biggest "theme," if you want to call it that, was spontaneity. Now, the theme is support.

Without support in life, you can't do anything. Sure you can be independent, but you need support. You can only get so far by yourself.

Here are some examples of support so far that I've seen.

Rugby:
Yeah, it's a team sport and every team sport needs supportive teammates. That's a given. Support in rugby means so much more. Support is needed in the rucks. Support is needed when the ball carrier breaks free. It gives him options. Support is needed to push across the try line. The team preached support, support, support this season. It was a huge key to them ending their season with two wins. Not a great overall season on paper. But it was their second year in their conference and second real year playing competitively.

They preached support and got support. That team has a bond with each other that I haven't seen with a group in a a long time, maybe not ever.

Butler 
I'm not in Butler anymore. I've been home once since I moved here and don't plan on going home until Thanksgiving break. Butler is an interesting place, I'll tell you what.

First of all, everybody at PPU that went to Butler is incredibly supportive of each other. No matter where you came from or what you've done, you're here now. We all have that Butler connection that makes us all close. I can't think of a single Butler grad that is currently at PPU that I haven't had at least one conversation with. Butler is really killing it down here though.

Second of all, the lip dub. Wow the lip dub. For those who don't know, I organized and produced the first Butler lip dub video last year. I really learned through putting that whole thing together that support is so huge in life. That was one of the single most challenging, stressful and rewarding experiences of my high school career. Coordinating everything almost by myself was incredibly challenging. I lost sleep over that video.

We barely had support from administration and staff. It was a struggle just to get permission to film in the school. After the school day was over, when a number of clubs and teams had practices. There were around 150 students that stayed after school for the production. 150 out of a student body of over 1,200.

We did what we could with what we had. When the contest voting period began, it was obvious that we were outdone. We weren't just outdone, we were embarrassed. Seneca Valley, Pine Richland, Gateway and a number of schools comparable in size produced lip dubs that received hundreds of thousand views on the internet and received publicity from local media. They all had support from staff and administration.

I met the guy who put together PR's lip dub. He said that without the support of his principals and other staff members, it wouldn't have been possible. He said that he saw so much spirit from his classmates shown off that day at a school where school spirit was almost non existent. Like Butler.

Apparently, Butler's administration got the message. Principals saw the videos from Seneca and Pine Richland. They saw that it was worth it to take just a little bit of time out of the day to practice and put together a lip dub video. BTTV's staff this year put together a lip dub that I could have only imagined doing.

It was fantastic to see the energy and enthusiasm from students at my alma mater. They were genuinely happy to be there. BTTV received support from staff and administration to produce the video. Because of what I did last year, they realized that they made a mistake by not investing more time and effort into supporting me and the rest of BTTV in making the video last year.

I'm happy to have laid the framework for this year's video. I smiled the entire video. I couldn't have been more proud. These kids deserve to win this lip dub contest. The program receives money that it desperately needs to repair equipment and purchase necessary items to keep the phenomenal media program at Butler in tact. After BTTV's budget was slashed to $0 a few years ago, they rely on funding from selling DVD's of events. Money is hard to come by and equipment needs repaired.

Voting starts on November 14th and I will give information on how to vote when the time approaches.

Bottom line:

It was hard to do that video last year without support. It was extremely difficult. Everyone involved made it work and because of us, this year's video was made possible. With support this year, they were able to pull it off. With a dedicated crew and advisor, they were able to pull it off.

Without support, there would be no video. No pride. No program.

U-View

I have found my place at Point Park. I have found my home. I have found some of my best friends. They are all at the TV Station here. U-View television has taught me so much in such a little amount of time.

The upperclassmen have accepted the freshman and taken him under their wing. Everybody supports each other because we all have the same end goal: Put together a quality program.

We'll be competing for jobs when we leave here. But for now, we're all in this together. That's what I love most about U-View. When somebody screws up, we tell them. When somebody does a great job, we tell them. We're open and honest and up front. We give credit where credit is due and criticize, not to degrade, but to improve. We want to see everybody around us get better each time we walk into the studio.

Tomorrow night I'm going out for wing night with a number of the guys from the studio. On Sunday we got a big group of us together and went to Pitt's campus to play football. Those were three of the most enjoyable hours that I've had here yet.

I don't know what I'm going to do when some of these people graduate. There weren't too many upperclassmen that I got to know or attached to in high school. Partially because the schools were divided into grades 9-10 and 11-12. These upperclassmen have made me feel so welcomed and so at home. I love it here and I owe it so much to a lot of them.

Others
There are others here, one person in particular, who I cannot specifically mention due to an upcoming event as previously talked about in another post.

There are two gentlemen in very high places that have shown me, as a freshman, unbelievable support. Not only are they great contacts, but they are great people. They know people in high places and have a lot of useful knowledge. The Dean of Students has also shown his support for me in my upcoming event that I really can't wait to detail and tell everybody about.

Another person here has been, and will continue to be, incredibly supportive and helpful with me in my planning and preparation for this event. There is so much that this individual has done so far that I can't even begin to describe.

Not so supportive
This is a rant. A short rant.

If students are held to a high standard of excellence and almost forced to attend every class and arrive on time, facing significant grade deductions if late or absent, then why aren't professors?

Why aren't they held to the same standard? I have had minor problems with one professor here that is pushing me to a whole new level of frustration. If one is paid a decent amount of money to do a job, don't you think that they should do that job efficiently and actually show up at a decent time?

This professor is consistently late to class. Today, he was only four minutes late, a new record. Impressive. Last Thursday? 20 minutes late. 20 minutes.

If I was 20 minutes late to certain classes, I would't even receive credit for attending. His teaching method is frustrating and disorganized and based on his own personal beliefs and experiences, rather than objective fact. This professor preaches objectivity in his field, yet contradicts himself when he tells people that they are wrong for thinking one way when it disagrees with his own. Even if his view is not accurate.

I don't even know my grade in the class. This professor is the epitome of vague, unwillingness to help and frustration.

Rant over.

In summary
Support.

That's it. Support.

It's critical and I'm noticing it more and more every day. I have friends that are incredibly supportive. The real friends would do anything to see you succeed and place their own happiness well lower than yours. Sure we are all competing for jobs. Real friends want to see you succeed.

It means a lot to me when a senior graduating in a couple months takes time out of his day to show the freshman how to work something and shoe him how things run. Even though freshman aren't typically allowed to use certain equipment, he shows me that equipment anyways.

It's things like that that mean a lot to me. Supportive friends can never be replaced.

When you don't have support, you can only go so far. I am so fortunate to have support here and from back home.

I'm learning more and more each day about people and their tendencies. I'm learning the value of support from a myriad of places and it is really opening my eyes to a lot of things.

Support.

Because, why not?
Josh

Not "just" a freshman

I have been thinking about a lot recently and been taking a lot of long walks and long showers. Life right now is going at the speed of sound and I don't know how to stop it. I don't think that I can stop it.

I just received the opportunity of a lifetime through the school. It is not something that I can speak on publicly yet but I will give some general details.

I was selected out of dozens of applicants to be interviewed along with six juniors and seniors for this opportunity. I was then chosen, out of those individuals, to receive the opportunity. It is a very high profile experience that I will receive in the next couple of months and one that could change my life and the future of my career.

I wish that I could publicly speak about this, but out of respect for the other interviewers and the organization that wishes to keep this on the down low for now, I will not announce what the opportunity is until after it has taken place.

I thought I had no chance. I was just a freshman. I was told in the interview that I was at a disadvantage because I am a freshman. They decided that I was the right choice and I will represent the school well with this experience. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity that I am about to receive and now, the hard work and preparation for this will begin. It is something that can jumpstart my career and/or get my foot in the door. As a freshman.

I'm overwhelmed and overjoyed. The doors that can be opened through this opportunity range from just a good experience to getting the chance to spend a sumer in another city.

I don't know where life is taking me. It's scary. It's also exciting at the same time. I'm struggling to make time for certain things now and that's probably the hardest part. My life is taking off and going so fast that I don't know how or if I can slow it down. So many things are happening and I am honestly overwhelmed.

It's a good problem to have. Too many options. At the same time though, I don't know how to handle it all. I'm ready to grow up and I'm ready to develop myself. I just don't know how that is going to happen yet or who can help me with that. If only I had a crystal ball to look into the future to see where I will be and who I will be surrounded by. I just don't know. I don't know what is best for me and I don't know what is best for the people around me and that's what I'm struggling with the most.

I wish I had all of the answers. I wish everything could work itself out, but it can't.

I love my alone time. Absolutely love it. I love just observing people. People fascinate me. In my alone time not only do I watch people (not a stalker, swear), I take time to myself to think. I think way to much. I play out situations in my head too much. I'm in a really weird transition phase and I can feel myself changing. Not a whole lot, but a little bit. Not in a negative way either. I think about the world differently and I think about the future differently. I think about the past differently and I think about the present differently.

I don't know what to do about a lot of things. I need answers and I'm struggling to find them. I wish that there was a "Life for Dummies" book. I'd buy that. I'm involved with too much, which is a good thing, but is also making things a lot harder. I never realized how difficult college life was going to be. It's not difficult in a sense that I'm needing someone to rely on, not at all. I'm doing fine on my own. I'm making good and smart choices and staying out of trouble, it's not that.

I never realized the difficult decisions that came with living life. I never realized what real freedom was. I never realized that there are some really amazing people outside of Butler. They exist, yes. There are also rotten people, but you'll find those anywhere.

I'm currently on a bus to cover my last rugby match of the fall 2014 season. We're headed to Allegheny College which is roughly an hour and a half bus ride. I'm just looking out the window, listening to music and typing. I'm thinking with my fingers essentially. I apologize if this is a jumbled mess.

Essentially, I have some decisions to make and some opportunities that are going to arise in the next few months that will change my life and possibly dictate my future. I've always told myself that I was going to do whatever was necessary to be successful. I don't mind traveling, I don't mind living far away from home. I am reminded of the public speaker and drummer of the band Big Daddy Weave's speech at the 2013 Butler Celebration of Faith Ceremony. His theme was WISE.

He talked a little bit about wisdom. That's not what WISE means though. WISE is an acronym. It stands for "What I Sacrifice Everyday." What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be successful? You have to sacrifice things a long the way to success. You have to give up things and let people down. You have to deal with surroundings and be able to adapt.

How bad do you want to succeed? You may be familiar with this story that I am about to paraphrase. It is one of my favorites.

There was a young man who wanted to make a lot of money so he went to a guru. He told him that he wanted to reach his level of greatness. The guru told him to meet him at the beach the next day.

The young an arrived and had on a suit. He should have worn shorts. The old man grabbed his hand and said, "How badly do you want to be successful?" The young man replied, "Badly."

The old man told the young man to walk out into the water. The water was waist deep and the young man thought that the old man was crazy. The old man told him to come out a little farther, so he did so. As he was up to his shoulders in water, he again thought that the old man was crazy.

"Go out a bit farther," the old man said. The young man did so but wavered as if he might turn back.

"I thought you said you wanted to be successful," the old man said. "I do," said the student.

The old man ordered the young man to come out even farther and when he did, he pushed his head under water and held it down. He wouldn't let him back up for air. Just before he passed out, the man raised his head above the surface and said:

"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful." 

A lot of people want success. But not a lot of people WANT it. Not everybody is willing to do whatever it takes. Right now in college, my school work and career come first. I am trying to make a name for myself and I am on the right track. I need supporters but at the same time too many distractions can and will slow me down. I wish that I could go home every weekend and see some friends from high school. I wish that I could hang out with my friends every night at college and have good times every night of the week and see everybody all of the time. I can't. I can't see everybody at the same time all of the time.

That kills me. I want to please everybody but when I try too hard to please everybody, I end up pleasing nobody. At this point I feel as if I am rambling on and on. How would you like to get stuck in my head for a day, an afternoon, a night? On the outside I pretend that everything is okay. For the most part it is. I am struggling with some things that I need to spend more time thinking about and consider.

If only there was a "Life for Dummies." I am a freshman, but not just a freshman. Age is only a number and success should be measured by talent and skill, not by how old you are. This freshman is lost in his own mind. I know what I want in life, I just don't know what is going to get me there. I'm ready for life.

I haven't looked down at my computer in over 6 miles. I'm just staring out the window and watching the clouds move and the real trees and grass move on buy, counting mile markers. I should probably look down and correct al of the words that I missed along the way and the letters that I left out. As Keith Olbermann said... good night, and good luck.

Because, why not?
Josh

Catching up

First off, I apologize for not writing in a couple weeks. Here's a brief rundown of what I've been up to.

- I won a Neil Walker autographed baseball from the Pirates Twitter account on Fan Appreciation Day.
- We celebrated the Pirate's clinching a playoff berth on my floor
- I met with my conversation partner, Fahad for the first time. He is from Saudi Arabia and is majoring in health administration.
- I have developed a Starbucks addiction. White Chocolate Mocha all the way.
- I went home for the homecoming/alumni night game.
         - Going home was a lot more weird than I had pictured. It was like going on vacation. I was excited to see Jack, but he was not as excited to see me. I got to see my friends from band that I had not seen in a long time and it was awesome. We went out to Applebee's after the game and stayed for an hour and a half. I went to the doctors the next day and got treated for strep throat. I got to go back to North Street and I played my drums for the first time in over a month. I made the mistake of asking my mom when they were taking me "back home." Whoops. Before I went back to school, we all went to Olive Garden for dinner. Our waitress gave us an entire fresh batch of bread sticks to go along with 423475283 OG mints. I shared with everybody once I got back to school.
- The critique for the Newspaper this week, as is done every week by the advisor, was a special one. She gave me nothing but compliments and high praise for my story on the PPU win over CMU. I even got "Globe Star of the Week."
- I took a sociology midterm and a mass comm module exam on Tuesday. Also on Tuesday:
- Took a free tour of Heinz Field
- Went to the Pirate's playoff pep rally in Market Square
- I actually went to the Wild Card game. They lost. But the atmosphere at the beginning of the game was absolutely incredible.
- I made Hunter Pence signs for the game and was featured on MLB.com among other social media sites because of it.
- I was up bright and early on Thursday to attend a small group discussion on race with NPR radio host Michele Norris. In 2009, Norris was named one of Essence magazine's 25 Most Influential Black Americans. I encourage you to read up on her Race Card Project. That was an incredible and eye opening experience about race in America.
- As soon as I got back from the talk at the Carnegie Museum of Art, I volunteered for the Center for Sports Marketing for a guest presentation from the VP and SVP of Marketing Solutions at ESPN. I got a free ESPN shirt and hat because of it.
- I am applying for the opportunity to attend the 2014 Winter Baseball Meetings Job Forum in San Diego, California.

I have had a number of papers and assignments that have been taking up a significant portion of my time and I have been unable to write. I said from the beginning that I would have no set deadline for these to avoid stress. I encourage you to explore the full site, if you already are not, on a computer at JoshCroup.blogspot.com 

I update the Links to my Work post frequently. Keep checking it for updates and more of my published work.

Tonight, I have dinner reservations at Buca di Beppo's with Emily and this weekend is mural painting weekend on the floor. We'll see how that goes.

Things are great here and I'm feeling great as well. I'm no longer sick and I'm keeping up with all of my work. I did tweak my left hamstring in flag football two weeks ago and it is the only thing still bothering me. I'll deal.

This weekend, the Rugby Club will travel to Franciscan University in Steubenville Ohio. So that's my Saturday. I love having a three day weekend to relax and wind down. Not having classes on Friday is awesome. I love it here.

Because, why not?
Josh