I have been thinking about a lot recently and been taking a lot of long walks and long showers. Life right now is going at the speed of sound and I don't know how to stop it. I don't think that I can stop it.
I just received the opportunity of a lifetime through the school. It is not something that I can speak on publicly yet but I will give some general details.
I was selected out of dozens of applicants to be interviewed along with six juniors and seniors for this opportunity. I was then chosen, out of those individuals, to receive the opportunity. It is a very high profile experience that I will receive in the next couple of months and one that could change my life and the future of my career.
I wish that I could publicly speak about this, but out of respect for the other interviewers and the organization that wishes to keep this on the down low for now, I will not announce what the opportunity is until after it has taken place.
I thought I had no chance. I was just a freshman. I was told in the interview that I was at a disadvantage because I am a freshman. They decided that I was the right choice and I will represent the school well with this experience. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity that I am about to receive and now, the hard work and preparation for this will begin. It is something that can jumpstart my career and/or get my foot in the door. As a freshman.
I'm overwhelmed and overjoyed. The doors that can be opened through this opportunity range from just a good experience to getting the chance to spend a sumer in another city.
I don't know where life is taking me. It's scary. It's also exciting at the same time. I'm struggling to make time for certain things now and that's probably the hardest part. My life is taking off and going so fast that I don't know how or if I can slow it down. So many things are happening and I am honestly overwhelmed.
It's a good problem to have. Too many options. At the same time though, I don't know how to handle it all. I'm ready to grow up and I'm ready to develop myself. I just don't know how that is going to happen yet or who can help me with that. If only I had a crystal ball to look into the future to see where I will be and who I will be surrounded by. I just don't know. I don't know what is best for me and I don't know what is best for the people around me and that's what I'm struggling with the most.
I wish I had all of the answers. I wish everything could work itself out, but it can't.
I love my alone time. Absolutely love it. I love just observing people. People fascinate me. In my alone time not only do I watch people (not a stalker, swear), I take time to myself to think. I think way to much. I play out situations in my head too much. I'm in a really weird transition phase and I can feel myself changing. Not a whole lot, but a little bit. Not in a negative way either. I think about the world differently and I think about the future differently. I think about the past differently and I think about the present differently.
I don't know what to do about a lot of things. I need answers and I'm struggling to find them. I wish that there was a "Life for Dummies" book. I'd buy that. I'm involved with too much, which is a good thing, but is also making things a lot harder. I never realized how difficult college life was going to be. It's not difficult in a sense that I'm needing someone to rely on, not at all. I'm doing fine on my own. I'm making good and smart choices and staying out of trouble, it's not that.
I never realized the difficult decisions that came with living life. I never realized what real freedom was. I never realized that there are some really amazing people outside of Butler. They exist, yes. There are also rotten people, but you'll find those anywhere.
I'm currently on a bus to cover my last rugby match of the fall 2014 season. We're headed to Allegheny College which is roughly an hour and a half bus ride. I'm just looking out the window, listening to music and typing. I'm thinking with my fingers essentially. I apologize if this is a jumbled mess.
Essentially, I have some decisions to make and some opportunities that are going to arise in the next few months that will change my life and possibly dictate my future. I've always told myself that I was going to do whatever was necessary to be successful. I don't mind traveling, I don't mind living far away from home. I am reminded of the public speaker and drummer of the band Big Daddy Weave's speech at the 2013 Butler Celebration of Faith Ceremony. His theme was WISE.
He talked a little bit about wisdom. That's not what WISE means though. WISE is an acronym. It stands for "What I Sacrifice Everyday." What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be successful? You have to sacrifice things a long the way to success. You have to give up things and let people down. You have to deal with surroundings and be able to adapt.
How bad do you want to succeed? You may be familiar with this story that I am about to paraphrase. It is one of my favorites.
There was a young man who wanted to make a lot of money so he went to a guru. He told him that he wanted to reach his level of greatness. The guru told him to meet him at the beach the next day.
The young an arrived and had on a suit. He should have worn shorts. The old man grabbed his hand and said, "How badly do you want to be successful?" The young man replied, "Badly."
The old man told the young man to walk out into the water. The water was waist deep and the young man thought that the old man was crazy. The old man told him to come out a little farther, so he did so. As he was up to his shoulders in water, he again thought that the old man was crazy.
"Go out a bit farther," the old man said. The young man did so but wavered as if he might turn back.
"I thought you said you wanted to be successful," the old man said. "I do," said the student.
The old man ordered the young man to come out even farther and when he did, he pushed his head under water and held it down. He wouldn't let him back up for air. Just before he passed out, the man raised his head above the surface and said:
"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful."
A lot of people want success. But not a lot of people WANT it. Not everybody is willing to do whatever it takes. Right now in college, my school work and career come first. I am trying to make a name for myself and I am on the right track. I need supporters but at the same time too many distractions can and will slow me down. I wish that I could go home every weekend and see some friends from high school. I wish that I could hang out with my friends every night at college and have good times every night of the week and see everybody all of the time. I can't. I can't see everybody at the same time all of the time.
That kills me. I want to please everybody but when I try too hard to please everybody, I end up pleasing nobody. At this point I feel as if I am rambling on and on. How would you like to get stuck in my head for a day, an afternoon, a night? On the outside I pretend that everything is okay. For the most part it is. I am struggling with some things that I need to spend more time thinking about and consider.
If only there was a "Life for Dummies." I am a freshman, but not just a freshman. Age is only a number and success should be measured by talent and skill, not by how old you are. This freshman is lost in his own mind. I know what I want in life, I just don't know what is going to get me there. I'm ready for life.
I haven't looked down at my computer in over 6 miles. I'm just staring out the window and watching the clouds move and the real trees and grass move on buy, counting mile markers. I should probably look down and correct al of the words that I missed along the way and the letters that I left out. As Keith Olbermann said... good night, and good luck.
Because, why not?
Josh
I just received the opportunity of a lifetime through the school. It is not something that I can speak on publicly yet but I will give some general details.
I was selected out of dozens of applicants to be interviewed along with six juniors and seniors for this opportunity. I was then chosen, out of those individuals, to receive the opportunity. It is a very high profile experience that I will receive in the next couple of months and one that could change my life and the future of my career.
I wish that I could publicly speak about this, but out of respect for the other interviewers and the organization that wishes to keep this on the down low for now, I will not announce what the opportunity is until after it has taken place.
I thought I had no chance. I was just a freshman. I was told in the interview that I was at a disadvantage because I am a freshman. They decided that I was the right choice and I will represent the school well with this experience. I am extremely thankful for the opportunity that I am about to receive and now, the hard work and preparation for this will begin. It is something that can jumpstart my career and/or get my foot in the door. As a freshman.
I'm overwhelmed and overjoyed. The doors that can be opened through this opportunity range from just a good experience to getting the chance to spend a sumer in another city.
I don't know where life is taking me. It's scary. It's also exciting at the same time. I'm struggling to make time for certain things now and that's probably the hardest part. My life is taking off and going so fast that I don't know how or if I can slow it down. So many things are happening and I am honestly overwhelmed.
It's a good problem to have. Too many options. At the same time though, I don't know how to handle it all. I'm ready to grow up and I'm ready to develop myself. I just don't know how that is going to happen yet or who can help me with that. If only I had a crystal ball to look into the future to see where I will be and who I will be surrounded by. I just don't know. I don't know what is best for me and I don't know what is best for the people around me and that's what I'm struggling with the most.
I wish I had all of the answers. I wish everything could work itself out, but it can't.
I love my alone time. Absolutely love it. I love just observing people. People fascinate me. In my alone time not only do I watch people (not a stalker, swear), I take time to myself to think. I think way to much. I play out situations in my head too much. I'm in a really weird transition phase and I can feel myself changing. Not a whole lot, but a little bit. Not in a negative way either. I think about the world differently and I think about the future differently. I think about the past differently and I think about the present differently.
I don't know what to do about a lot of things. I need answers and I'm struggling to find them. I wish that there was a "Life for Dummies" book. I'd buy that. I'm involved with too much, which is a good thing, but is also making things a lot harder. I never realized how difficult college life was going to be. It's not difficult in a sense that I'm needing someone to rely on, not at all. I'm doing fine on my own. I'm making good and smart choices and staying out of trouble, it's not that.
I never realized the difficult decisions that came with living life. I never realized what real freedom was. I never realized that there are some really amazing people outside of Butler. They exist, yes. There are also rotten people, but you'll find those anywhere.
I'm currently on a bus to cover my last rugby match of the fall 2014 season. We're headed to Allegheny College which is roughly an hour and a half bus ride. I'm just looking out the window, listening to music and typing. I'm thinking with my fingers essentially. I apologize if this is a jumbled mess.
Essentially, I have some decisions to make and some opportunities that are going to arise in the next few months that will change my life and possibly dictate my future. I've always told myself that I was going to do whatever was necessary to be successful. I don't mind traveling, I don't mind living far away from home. I am reminded of the public speaker and drummer of the band Big Daddy Weave's speech at the 2013 Butler Celebration of Faith Ceremony. His theme was WISE.
He talked a little bit about wisdom. That's not what WISE means though. WISE is an acronym. It stands for "What I Sacrifice Everyday." What are you willing to sacrifice in order to be successful? You have to sacrifice things a long the way to success. You have to give up things and let people down. You have to deal with surroundings and be able to adapt.
How bad do you want to succeed? You may be familiar with this story that I am about to paraphrase. It is one of my favorites.
There was a young man who wanted to make a lot of money so he went to a guru. He told him that he wanted to reach his level of greatness. The guru told him to meet him at the beach the next day.
The young an arrived and had on a suit. He should have worn shorts. The old man grabbed his hand and said, "How badly do you want to be successful?" The young man replied, "Badly."
The old man told the young man to walk out into the water. The water was waist deep and the young man thought that the old man was crazy. The old man told him to come out a little farther, so he did so. As he was up to his shoulders in water, he again thought that the old man was crazy.
"Go out a bit farther," the old man said. The young man did so but wavered as if he might turn back.
"I thought you said you wanted to be successful," the old man said. "I do," said the student.
The old man ordered the young man to come out even farther and when he did, he pushed his head under water and held it down. He wouldn't let him back up for air. Just before he passed out, the man raised his head above the surface and said:
"When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful."
A lot of people want success. But not a lot of people WANT it. Not everybody is willing to do whatever it takes. Right now in college, my school work and career come first. I am trying to make a name for myself and I am on the right track. I need supporters but at the same time too many distractions can and will slow me down. I wish that I could go home every weekend and see some friends from high school. I wish that I could hang out with my friends every night at college and have good times every night of the week and see everybody all of the time. I can't. I can't see everybody at the same time all of the time.
That kills me. I want to please everybody but when I try too hard to please everybody, I end up pleasing nobody. At this point I feel as if I am rambling on and on. How would you like to get stuck in my head for a day, an afternoon, a night? On the outside I pretend that everything is okay. For the most part it is. I am struggling with some things that I need to spend more time thinking about and consider.
If only there was a "Life for Dummies." I am a freshman, but not just a freshman. Age is only a number and success should be measured by talent and skill, not by how old you are. This freshman is lost in his own mind. I know what I want in life, I just don't know what is going to get me there. I'm ready for life.
I haven't looked down at my computer in over 6 miles. I'm just staring out the window and watching the clouds move and the real trees and grass move on buy, counting mile markers. I should probably look down and correct al of the words that I missed along the way and the letters that I left out. As Keith Olbermann said... good night, and good luck.
Because, why not?
Josh
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